Tomorrow we actually have a pre op appointment for her and her heart. A few weeks ago they told us that her heart is still just a bit enlarged and while it could be absolutely nothing, it could also be a pretty big something. On Thursday she has to have a sedated heart catheter done to measure the exact amount of blood that is pumping through the right side of her heart and making it bigger. I know a few people are reading and have absolutely no idea what that means, I don't blame you, I had no idea either. Essentially the amazing pediatric cardiologists at Cincinnati Children's are going to go in through the artery in her groin area and thread a very very tiny little tube up to her heart to get the exact measurement that they need. The procedure itself is minimal invasive and shouldn't take any longer than about 30ish minutes. It's funny to read this as I'm typing. I've explained it a million and one times to everyone and every time it's like I'm reassuring them that she's going to be just fine, but I know deep down it's my way of reassuring myself that everything will be okay. I know she's a blessed little girl. I know she has her angels watching over her with every single step she takes, but it's hard to not worry. You guys know that though, most of you have been with us for ever leg of this crazy journey with Emmy and her heart. Honestly, it's the main reason that I'm even up blogging at 11:30 pm instead of resting for tomorrow. I don't know how to turn my brain off right now, but it could be worse right? Right.
SO! Once again, the first day of school has come and gone. Lily Addison is OFFICIALLY a first grader!! Talk about a long journey. When i went to sign Lily up for first grade, it was questionable if she was going to be able to start since she attended a private school for so long and they don't do "report cards" instead they just do testing. Granted, Lily always scored way above her class average every single time she tested, so I assumed there would be no issue. For once, I was so right. The front office originally said they couldn't advance her unless they had a report card saying she advanced to first grade. I told them I didn't have one, but I gave them all of her assessments from her old teacher and prayed that was enough. My prayers were answered. I called her school the following Monday to see what needed to be done and the office said she sat down with the principal and they didn't need to see anything because based on little miss smarty pants' scores, she is MORE than qualified to start first grade!! You can imagine my relief when I heard those words leave her mouth. She started school on Monday and absolutely loves every thing about it. Naturally I was a hot mess today when I didn't get to walk her to her class, but in true Lily fashion she was the one comforting me that she would be just fine and can totally do it on her own, because after all she is a FIRST grader now. I shed a tear on the walk back to my car. Before I know it I'll be dropping her off at college and probably contemplating if it's too late to enroll myself so that I can hold her hand through the rest of her life too. What am I even saying? She is the most self sufficient and confident 5 year old that I have ever met. Sometimes I just look at her and I'm over whelmed with the little lady that Lily is becoming. She has so much compassion for others. She has so much love for the world around her. She is honest and kind and just such a ray of sunshine. I know I've said I'm worried that people will change that about her, but I know they won't. She's a natural born lover and leader and I think that's what I admire most about her. She's living proof that all of those times that I thought I was being too soft or that I was criticized because of my method of parenting or when I thought I was royally failing at parenthood, I wasn't and I shouldn't have been. In a few short weeks she will be 6 and while she may be too "big" for dora and bubble guppies now, she too will always be MY little baby Lily.
Aside from birthdays and school, August and September also hold some pretty spectacular for me and Mr. ManMeat. August 24th marks 4 years that we have been married and September 13th we've been paling around for 5 stinking years! I'm laying here in bed next to him after he fell asleep on my shoulder and I can't help but want to thank God for him. I want to just say thank you for all of the crazy ups and downs that my life held before Bryce, because it really prepared me for something that I could have never in my wildest dreams have EVER imagined I would have. I always knew I wanted to get married, but I had always seen movies and even real life couples where marriage seemed like a chore and I honestly almost puked before our wedding and then we did it. We said our vows and in that instant I just knew, he is where I was supposed to be for the rest of my life. Every day is something new and even though sometimes when he does something dumb I do envision just kind of hitting him with a frying pan (who knew!?), he's my kind of dumb and he makes up for it ten fold by seriously being the best father and husband I have ever known. I'm glad I waited and I know that it's a bit cliche to say, but I really do thank god for unanswered prayers. Bryce was unexpected and we were unexpected, but here we are, 5 years later and happier that I could have ever imagined. I still get butterflies, I still want to spend every second of alone time that I have with him and I don't see that changing any time soon. I'm glad I waited and I really did marry the person that I 100% believe to be my soul mate, my life partner, my companion and most importantly, my best friend. "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." <3
That's it for now folks! It's midnight and that 6:30 am workout is going to come all too soon. Keep my family in your thoughts and prayers, we can use it right now. Remember to hug your babies and just enjoy them while they're little. In the blink of an eye they are going to be grown and you will have wished that you'd made those dishes wait or you'd played that board game with them just a few more times. Let them be little for as long as they will let you.
xoxo,
Amanda
p.s.
Check out Taylor Swift's new song "Shake It Off" Not only is it my life anthem right now (HI HATERS... haha jk everyone loves me), but she very CLEARLY stole all of my super sick dance moves. Guess I'll have to dance battle her one day. Look out Taylor, shots have been fired, you're going down. (Also, my husband really loves you so if you could look as ugly as possible if you ever meet him that would be super duper)
