Phone bloggin' say what?!

Yeah this is happening!! It's Christmas eve and apparently Emory Mae Mande knows it, because she is up and ready to go! I'm so excited for today and tomorrow that I can hardly stand it!! It's funny, because had you told 6 year old me that one day I'd grow up to have the greatest job in the world on Christmas (obviously talking about being mommy Clause), I would have told you that you're a liar and that you're going on the naughty list. Well, you literally could have only told aged 1-6 year old me that and gotten that response, because by age seven I discovered the trunk full of presents all addressed to me, from "Santa".... Thanks brother, you were only kind of a cotton headed ninny muggins for sullying my Christmas that year. *rolls eyes*. Anyways! Back to what I was saying, I'm thoroughly looking forward to cookie making for Santa and seeing the anticipation on Lily's face as she waits for him to come!!! Oh innocence. Right? Not to mention its our first Christmas together as a complete family and Emory's first Christmas ever! Gonna take million pictures?! You bet your sweet ass I am : )
Other than major Christmas excitement my freaking AMAZING husband bought us iPhone's and I have no clue what the hell I was doing before I had this wondrous machine! Oh wait, now I remember, I was wasting my life away with my joke of a phone called the sidekick *rolls eyes again* I'm sure once the OMFGZ I HAVEZ A IPHONE AND ITZ ALL MINEZ!!!!! FCEGHGHGAJIKBFYH!!! Wears off I won't be as obsessed, but for now Bryce gets husband of the week. I'd say year/month, but let's face it, my dad has been putting up with my mom for like 16 years now and that shit is no picnic. That lady is bat shit crazy, I love her, but she's nuts haha Kudos to you dad ;p Here's to hoping she hasn't learned to read my blog yet!
Chances are I'll be blogging again shortly after Christmas and new years (one of my best friends of like almost 10 years is coming to see me on the 1st!!!!!) and I'll have 1000000000 pictures for you to look at!! We all know I love pictures!!! Can you say photo dump? Of course you can.

Merry Christmas and in 5 short days Happy New Year!! <3

"What can I get here that has no sugar, no carbs, and is fat free? "

  Today something life altering happened to me. I had a Five Guys burger and let me tell you, McDonalds will never suffice again. I know I know, what a fat kid thing to say right? Wrong. Very very wrong. Anyone that knows me, knows that I have a mild obsession with diner burgers. There's just something about a good ol' never frozen and always delicious burger that hits the spot for me every time. Add pickles, lettuce, bacon and mustard to the equation and I'm in diner burger heaven.
  It just so happens that I have a very elitist friend (Ashley Watts knows what's up) and he told me that the only fast food burger he will put in his body is a Five Guys burger. Me, being the Five Guys illiterate person I was, thought he was just being Chase. Well today after buying Lily's AWESOME Christmas fish and tank, the man meat asked if I wanted some Five Guys for lunch (srsly, how many times can I say Five Guys in one blog? I should get paid for this haha) and obviously I agreed. $20.00 later (holy crap expensive for burgers and fries right!? wrong again. worth every. single. penny.) and a full belly and I'll never be the same again. I immediately texted him after we left the restraunt and apologized for ever doubting his good burger senses. That being said, if you haven't tried Five Guys yet, you really should. Don't let the messy look of it turn you away, you will never want to eat another kind of burger again.
  Well that's it for my fat kid blog. Time to fast for 12 years since I gained at least 10 pounds eating my delicious burger :p

not my actual burger, but makes me want another one. 

p.s. (of course) I wish the Walking Dead were back on already, I N E E D to know what happens next! My zombie killing needs are going unfulfilled and I hates it. I guess to drown my thirst I'll settle for mass amounts of Dead Island, Left 4 Dead 2 and Zombieland.

GET IT!? 

p.s.s  you totally loved my A Cinderella Story reference didn't you!? I knows it. I'm only 6 different kinds of awesome in one lady. NBD bros. No. big. deal.

Oh Christmas Tree

Something about Christmas will always remind me of my mom. I hope that when Lily and Emory are older, they think the same thing as well. That is all : )

heart melting.

my favorite tree of all time. 

She changed her name to Lily Pops.

You never imagine how much you'll miss your little ones, once they aren't so little any more. I know that Lily is only 3 and to A LOT of people that's still tiny, but in my mind, tiny is that 7lb 12oz baby that I brought home from the hospital. The other day she was doing something "naughty" (nothing she does is really naughty, it's really just more mischievous than anything and 99% of the time hilarious) and I said, "Lily Addison Sipes!" In my best mommy voice, but let's face it my mom voice isn't the best.... it's more of an ALMOST mom voice. Reminder to self: work on mom voice. She no joke looked at me and said in her best big girl voice, "My name is NOT Lily Addison Sipes any more, I changed it to Lily Pops!" Well let me tell you something Lily Pops, your rude tude is adorable sometimes and it kills me. I just keep looking at my biggest princess and thinking, "Please slow down." She's potty trained, she said her first curse word (thanks sailor mouthed mom) and she can even ride her bike all on her own like it's nobody's business. I feel like a time machine is much needed. I need her to be like 3 foreverrrrrrrr!!!
  So it's time for Christmas crafting and I'd like to say that I've done a lot more crafting than I have, but alas all I've done really is make a cardboard tree (it's bitchin fo shooooo') and Lily and I made salt dough ornaments for her grandparents Christmas presents! AHH!! Talk about a good time haha She LOVED rolling the dough and painting them. It's probably the easiest stuff to make ever. I'd give a straight up tutorial on it, but I got mine from homemade grits. The only thing we did a little differently was paint her hands and I put felt on the back of the ornaments, because I have a serious case of new mommy brain and forgot the grease the pan. GO TEAM FORGET EVERYTHING! haha The finished product just made me so happy too. Having those little hands preserved forever is the best gift I could have given myself. Not to mention its her first handmade Christmas ornament!!!! H O L L E R!

my big girl <3

*tears*

our finished product!! OW OW!

So there's that for you. Currently Lily is at her dad's mom's house (wow that's rough to type haha) and she won't be back for two weeks **WAAAHHH SNOOKIE WHINEEE** With her gone I dunno what to do with myself really, it's entirely too quite. 14 days is just way too stinkin' long if you ask me. Time for me to bid you a due though, it's 3 a.m. and Emory thinks it's PAR-TAY time. Oh to be 4 months old again right? Wrong. haha I will leave you with an incredibly disturbing picture of my husband at the end of Movember. (If you don't know what that is google it) Man am I glad I don't have to see that hideous mustache any more haha. 

Creepy right? yes.

Stop picking on me God! *pouts*

That's what it feels like at least. Need to know more? Here it goes. I by no means can say that I am a religious person, I never have been. Sure I went to Sunday school when I was little and I've read parts of the good book here and there, but that's about the extent of it. However, in shitty times I always find myself turning to "the big man upstairs" and maybe that's my problem. We all need to place blame somewhere and lately it seems like the blunt of my blame, is laying with him.
  On August 9th, 2011 I gave birth to a little girl that for all intents and purposes, is perfect to me. Sadly, this is not 100% true. The same day that she was born the dr.'s told me that my perfect little Emory has a heart murmur, VSD is what they call it and it basically means there's a nasty little hole in her heart. Immediately all I could think was, "SERIOUSLY!? NOW!? YOU'RE GOING TO PICK ON HER ALREADY!? you. great. big. bully" (that was me talking to god) Very Bruce Almighty of me I know, keep reading. I just kept looking at her thinking, how? How is it at all possible that I just cooked her for nine months, did everything I was told to do and then some and she still came out with a defect. Not a huge one, but it's huge to me. Nobody wants to hear that there's something wrong with their brand new baby, let along something wrong with a major organ that she needs to live, it's just not something you can prepare yourself for. Well Dr. Connor (her cardiologist) explained to me more what VSD means exactly and pretty much there is blood just circulating from her heart to her lungs over and over and if it's big enough, then it can cause her to have symptoms of heart failure like: shortness of breath, failure to thrive, trouble breathing while she eats....you get the picture. They also told me that if it's there long enough or isn't fixing itself like they THINK it will, then heart surgery before she's one is a possibility. The dr.'s all told me it was common and that it'd close on it's own so there was no reason to worry. Easier said than done.
  For the next few months after that we had to see the cardiologist regularly and the pediatrician monthly instead of bi monthly. At one point she wasn't gaining weight (failure to thrive) so I had to feed her literally every like 30 minutes, talk about LONG ASS DAYS and NIGHTS BRO! Luckily it picked up and we were back on track. Besides that, it's been just an on going thing. Here we are 4 months later and nothing's changed. It hasn't closed and I can't tell you how much I hate to hear the false hope that everyone feeds me about how common it is and how they're sure it will close. After today's appointment I find that what little faith I do have  is wavering with every, "Well it's still there" or "Looks like we're gonna have to wait and see" that I get. Dr. Connor told me today it could be 5 more months before we even know how this will play out or if she'll need surgery. I just keep telling myself, "Be strong for her." "Be the kind of person you'd want her to be in this situation" "Don't let them see you worry", but how much longer can I really do that for before I just crack? Is this "his" plan for her? If everything happens for a reason, then what is the reason for this? Am I being tested through one of the only things in my life that really gives me faith to begin with? I know reading this some of you are going, "Oh my over dramatic mama, it's just a murmur." But to me it's not JUST a murmur. I made that heart and what if it was something that I did that caused it? It comes back to needing a place to throw my blame. I want to believe that there is some god that will look over her and make sure she's always okay, I really do, but I just don't know that I can. Either way it's probably wrong of me to pick and choose when and where to believe instead of believing in something more all of the time, ya know? I guess when you don't have anything tangible to hold on to, some of us just need to believe that somebody somewhere will make sure it's all going to be alright.
  Please don't feel like i'm questioning your god by writing this. If you believe in a higher power and have faith that is unwavering, then more power to you. I envy you. Maybe send some of it my way, because lord knows I need it most right now.

-amanda

My late Thanksgiving post

Hello!! Thanksgiving has come and gone and let me tell you it was another loud one in the Wheeler house. The last two years we've spent our night of giving thanks with my husband's family here in good ol' Wisconsin, the land of cheese and beer. I, being the forgetful new mother that I am, totally forgot my camera and to blog about what I'm most thankful for. Team Forgetful Amanda? You know you love me. So here I am remembering now and stealing a moment of alone time in the bathroom. BATHROOM BLOGS ARE THE BEST BLOGS! I'm sure you know that already though, nothing gets passed you. Here is a list of things that I am most thankful for this year. Though I feel like I need to take more time to be a little more thankful for them through out the year, but hey, at least I'm acknowledging them now right?

Things I'm Thankful For

*My Life. It's an amazing one to say the least. God was having a good day when he dealt me my hand of cards and for that I will be eternally grateful. 

*My family. Friends come and go, but those shit heads are stuck with me for the rest of their lives. 

*My husband. Before Bryce I'd watch movies and swoon over that guy. You know, the Noah kind of guy from the Notebook that is undyingly loyal and looks great with a beard. Well I found that in somebody and I love him with everything that I have. Without that man I have no clue where I'd be, but thankfully I don't have to even imagine that. I DO have him. I have his love, his support and most importantly, in him I have my very best friend. He provides for our family without one complaint every single day. He is amazing. He is my husband and I think that's pretty great. 

*My girls. They are my princesses. Every single day that I get to spend with them makes me feel like the luckiest mommy in the whole wide world. I can't think of two more perfect human beings than the ones that I created. Once again, thanks God for giving me the opportunity to raise those little angels, because without them I'd only be half of who I am today. 

*Coffee. Oh coffee how I love thee. It's a shame we met so late in life, but there are days where you my friend are all that keeps me going and for that, I am thankful for you seeings ass i'm pretty sure my blood type is now coffee. 

*My August 2011 mommas!! There were times in my pregnancy when I thought I must be nuts, until one of you lovely ladies reassured me I wasn't. There were times after Emory was born, that I thought I might break down and just give up, but you ladies reassured me I was super woman. There are times when I do something awesome and I want nothing more than to run back to my computer and tell you ladies a.s.a.p! For the companionship and eternal friendship/bond that we have, I will always be thankful. I have best friends that don't know/ask about Emory as much as you ladies do and that means the world to me. When I got my first stretch mark you were there, when I had my little lady you were there, when I found out about Emory's murmur you were there and for so much more you're going to be there. Thank you. 

*My sister wife Ashley. She forced me into blogging, she listens to me bitch daily and she's the ONLY friend I have that talks to me on a daily basis. I love you bitch, now come marry my husband and raise my kids.

There's more that I'm thankful for, but Emory is screaming for a boob. Have a great day and a super weekend. Tonight the ladies are staying the night with our aunt Kathy and momma is gonna par*wait for it*TAY!!!!

-Amanda

No Peektures for youz.

No, but really. Zero pictures this time. It's currently entirely too late in my misplaced mommy world right now. I'm actually in Union Grove, Wisconsin visiting the man child's fam jam for Thanksgiving and let me tell you something, before I had a house of my own going on vacation was no big deal, because I didn't have my own routine yet and now at 22 going on 23, with a house of my own, I apparently am an old ass and I hate vacation. I find myself making a list of things that I should be doing or need to do once we're home at LEAST 3 or 4 times a day. I guess I've never really taken the time to appreciate OUR house and OUR routine as a family. What better day to realize how thankful I am for my house/life than today right? Well played life, lesson learned.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

p.s. do expect another blog later today. : )