That's what I love about Sunday...

Welp, it's Sunday and I survived another week. I was just going to make this gem of a blog a photo dump post, but alas, here I am.

Not a whole lot has happened since I last wrote. Fourth of July came and went. We spent it with our friends Sean and Amanda watching fire works, doing sparklers and setting off all of the smoke bombs in the GIANT smoke bomb package that Lily had to have at once. It was a great success for sure. I will say I missed Emory and wish she had been home, but she had a ball at my moms house. They bought their own fireworks to do in the back yard and she loved them. We finally got her back on the 8th from my grandma. Sadly, the same night we got her back she woke up at 3 am screaming and coughing to the point where she couldn't breathe at all. If you know me at all you know my kids ever been to the ER a combined total of 3 times. I knew this time she needed to go as a gut feeling. When we go there they found that her heart rate was sky high and she has Bronchitis. Needless to say, it's been a very long few days sleeping wise. We were in the ER for 3 hours waiting her her little heart rate to slow down. It scared me so much, because of her murmur. We go in on Tuesday for her annual cardiology appointment and to find out if we're going to have to wait another year to find out if she's going to have to have surgery to fix her heart. I don't think I've ever prayed so hard for a miracle in my life.  

  A few weeks ago Bryce's friend sent Lily all of his old Pokemon cards, because Lily has recently developed a pokemon obsession and wanted to learn to play. Bryce took the time to sit her down and explain the game to her. Needless to say both of them were in heaven. Since we don't have boys I know it makes Bryce happy to see his girls turing into their nerdy mom and loving all of the things that both of us do. It was seriously one of the most endearing things to me for some reason to just watch her nerd blooming right in front of us. The next day she looked at me and said, "Mom, I just NEED to find Professor Oak so I can be a Pokemon master and get all of my badges!" Of course you do baby. What she doesn't know is that for her birthday (she's requested a pokemon b-day) I found all of the badges on etsy as a party gift for her friends! I cannot wait to see her face when she sees them!! It's funny the things you get overly excited about when you're a mom, isn't it?

  I've done THREE things that I've never done before this week. I know I know, I'm getting crazy over here! Since my brother passed away I decided that life is too short to continue falling into the same patterns that I always have and I made a promise to myself that AT LEAST once a month I will do something I've never done or try a food that I've never tried before. In an effort to do this, the first thing I did was go to a drag show to see my good friend Joshua do his thing as Miss Pixie. I must say I was jealous of how drop dead gorgeous some of those girls were! I loved walking into the club on a Monday and nobody stared at you or judged you, you were just automatically accepted by everyone in there. Watching Pixie on stage was wonderful as well. Joshua's passion for everything he does is just infectious. You could see him up on stage just glowing with love of what he was doing and how proud he was to be presenting Pixie on stage for the first time.

  SPEAKING OF JOSHUA! He is the proud owner of a salon here in Dayton called Salon J. Ladner. I haven't gone to another salon since I started going to this master piece of a salon. They always refer to their hair cuts/colors/stylings as the #hairjourney and for good reason. I went to see Joshua last Thursday and guess what?! He did the best job of taking me to the next step of blonde and got my hair ALL THE WAY TOGETHER! I love everything about having lighter hair. I've always been nervous to go blonde, because I think most of the time if it's all done at once it can look cheap and like you just bleached your whole head. Not to mention it can be awful for your hair. Josh put all of those fears to rest. I'm in love with my hair and it has totally transformed me. I cannot speak highly enough of Salon J. Ladner and everyone that works there. You WILL leave feeling like a rock star, I had the bouncy and blown out hair to prove it.

  When I was like 16 I LOVE LOVE LOVED the Rocky Horror Picture Show, but I never knew they did live productions of it in theaters until I saw The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I guess I lived under a rock? Either way, on Friday I saw my first live production of RHPS and it is honestly an experience that I will never forget. The audience participation was hilarious. The actors were so beyond funny. Seeing it with friends just made it so much better too. I cannot wait to go back and HOPEFULLY I can take Bryce with me next time, because he loves RHPS too and I love that about him.
  Alright y'all, I have some Premier Designs jewelry shopping to get done. Our new fall catalog came out and I am BEYOND excited for it!!! Luckily when you gain levels in Premier they give you jewelry certificates to spend and I have $1200 to use for new jewelry. Shopping spree for working hard anyone? I think so!! Have a good night and an excellent start of the day. Try something new!! I promise it will be worth it. <3

xoxo,
Amanda

 

What time is it?! SUMMER TIME!

  You know what I hate? Catch up blog posts! They feel forced to me, so I'm going to skip all of the things that you've missed and jump right in to it! It's summer and I'm feeling good! Remember last summer when I said, "I'm never letting my girls leave for longer than a week again?" Yeah... well... I didn't listen to me. The weekend of Father's day we left to take Lily to NC so she could attend summer camp with her mom mom and see her dad on Father's day. I have never seen a child more excited to be able to go to baking camp in my life. She completely ignored the two other camps that she got to go to (Gymnastics and Swimming) and just went on and on and on about baking camp and how excited she was to start. Lily was lucky enough to get to spend father's day with BOTH of her daddies and it really was an awesome thing to see. I will never be happier than seeing how easily her dad and Bryce get along with each other and knowing that no matter what our feelings have been in the past towards one another, we will always put her first. It really and truly makes me so happy. Not only that, but Matt's mom and himself both love and care for Emory like she was family too. It's also very amusing to me that Emory doesn't know what Matt's name is because the three of us only refer to each other as mom and dad to the kids, so Emory calls Matt "Daddy", because that's what Lily calls him. Gotta love two year olds. I'm very excited for summers to come, because Kim is already planning on taking BOTH of the girls for two weeks and sending them to camp. We have two very blessed little ladies on our hands there is no denying that. If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart.

  While Lily was only going to be gone for two weeks for camp, Emory will be gone for just a bit longer, because she's with my mom and dad in FL. To say that she's being spoiled rotten and has her grandma and grandpa wrapped around those adorable little fingers is putting it lightly. I called my mom a few days after we got home where she informed us that Emory is now the proud owner of 3 pairs of shoes in one day and 10 different shovels. "Ummm... why does a 2 year old need shovels, mom?" - "Cause she asked for them." Oh, so that's how it works then? While you're at it I need a new car. Thanks push over... I mean grandma. It's funny to me that we facetimed her the entire time she has been there and she would only talk to us for ABOUT five minutes if we were lucky, but the second her big sister is home and they facetimed the two of them talked and played for a solid twenty minutes. Sisters before misters right? Right. Either way she is having an absolute blast and one thing about having well adjusted kids is that while they really do miss you (they will always miss their siblings more), you'd never know it. I really can't wait to kiss her squishy little baby face again though, a month is entirely too long to be away from my pumpkin faced baby.

our gym!

   As much as I don't like being away from my babes, I will say the quality time that Bryce and I have had together has been much needed. To be able to just be with each other and hang out has been amazing. It's easy to get lost in the day to day of life when you have two tiny humans to care for 24/7. It's east to lose that spark and let it fall away, because some days you're just too tired and exhausted from life in general to think of anything else. Have a full two weeks together where all we have to concern ourselves with is one another is like getting to fall in love all over again. We stayed up as late as we wanted and made as much noise as we wanted when we wanted. Mostly Bryce was reassuring me that the girls will be fine and had to keep me in our little bubble of a moment, but what did he expect? We got to see movies that weren't cartoons, we went to dinner and sat in the bar area (ZOMG! You know this is a huge deal if you're a parent). Hell, we went to a bar in general TWICE and just people watched and laughed together. We also bought a gym for our garage and it's been awesome to be able to just walk ten feet to the garage and work out together. I will say it was reassuring of the love that we have with each other. I really did marry my best friend and times like this just prove it and prove that he really is what I absolutely consider to be THE ONE for me. I am one lucky lady.

   OH! Oh my gosh, I almost forgot to tell you about how incredibly graceful I am! So in May my best friends came to visit. Ashely had a wedding to do make up for and Drew came because he thinks I'm the bomb.com and lets face it, I kind of am. So my friend Amanda so kindly offered to babysit our kiddies while the three of us went and danced up the down. Dancing went well and no limbs were broken, until AFTER we were done dancing. That's right ladies and gents, I managed to WALK off of a curb and sprain my ankle/fracture my foot. Now, let me tell you something about me. I don't admit when I'm hurt. I will laugh and smile and the second you hear the words, "I'm fine." Leave my mouth is when you need to be worried. Immediately after I fell to the ground, my glorious best friend ran over and what are her first words to me? "Amanda are you laughing or crying? THEY BOTH SOUND THE SAME!" In her defense, they absolutely do sound the same and I was crying. I wanted to get up and kept just saying that I was fine over and over. Then I looked at my foot and saw the break. Let's just say there was nothing FINE about that foot. We wound up in the ER until 5 am and the jersey shore EMT didn't find me very amusing. I called Bryce in the morning to let him know what happened and thank goodness his leadership is so awesome, he was able to leave his survival training school to come home and be with me. I'm much better now though. I'm in a walking boot and I couldn't be happier for that. Being in a cast for 4 weeks was AWFUL! I do not miss that thing and I wouldn't wish a broken foot on even my worst enemy.

ALSO! I promoted to Designer at work! EEEKK!! That's right y'all! I'm a leader with Premier now! I was supposed to be going to our national rally next week, but sadly that isn't going to happen now. It's okay though, because I have a lot to look forward to either way. We're gearing up to move to NC and be closer to our friends and family and you cannot beat that.
  So basically, life is good. Life is really good. Aside from my best friend moving to California, I have not a single complaint in the world. The start of this year was terrible. It was the lowest that I have ever been in my life and not because of silly trivial things like I uses to worry about. If I took away anything from the passing of my brother it's that life really IS too short. I have learned to look at things like a broken foot and laugh at it. I've learned to embrace all nighters with my Emory because she doesn't want to sleep and I have learned that not everyone is worth the time you give them. I'm happy. I'm happy with my kids. I'm happy with my man meat. Most importantly, I'm happy with myself and the choices I am making. I started this month saying, "One month, something bad isn't going to happen to me!" In the grand scheme of things, that's life. You have to roll with the punches, you have to take the good with the bad and you have to learn to rise about all of it and say, "TAKE THAT LIFE!" Life is what you make it, but at least you have a life to make the most of. I'm going to love this summer as much as Olaf would if he were here.

I cut all of my hair off too ! 

  Have a great rest of the day y'all and remember to grow where you are planted and to treat every single day as if it were your last day. Tell the ones you love most that you appreciate them and smile at the "bad" things that happen, because they might suck at the time, but they won't always suck and that's what matters.

xoxo,
Amanda

Everything has changed.

  I don't even know where to begin with this post, but I knew I needed to start it, so here I am. It's been quite a while since I've last blogged and to say that in 8 short months I've changed completely who I am and the direction I'm taking my life would essentially be the understatement of the century. I'm not going to fill you in on the rest of the year, because it's simply too much for me to type into one post. I will however say that, it was a pretty dark time. It wasn't particularly hard for myself, but for my best friend and if you're anything like me then there are few things worse in life than watching somebody that you love with all of your heart hurting profusely and not being able to do a single thing to stop that hurt or heal that pain, but as we both have learned... Life goes on even when you don't want it to. I'm going to leave the end of the year at that and say that I'm not sad 2013 is over.
  Not that 2014 started much better. In January I went to Premier Designs regional rally and I will say that I was at a time in life when I needed a purpose. I needed something good and some kind of happy to come into my life, Premier did that for me. Rally essentially is a HUGE training with some really amazing speakers and not to mention, the unveiling for the newest line of jewelry. I don't know if it was the new sparkly things that Premier had just showed us OR being surrounded by some really inspirational people, but that day something inside of me just changed. With the help of Premier and my amazing Premier "mom" Kelly, I was pulled out of my funk and back into the real world. Things were finally returning to normal. Bryce's birthday came and went, the girls loved getting to celebrate with him this year, since he was in Africa last year. February was upon us and my birthday was here. I decided on my birthday that I would be only referred to as Dean Winchester and I'd eat burgers and drink beer and be happy with all of my girlfriends around me. We had a blast. It was the last supremely happy day that I would have in a very very long time.

  I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I am one of five kids. My mom is a saint, I know. There is Joshua (28) Me (25) Kaitlynn (18) Brianna (16) and Cenzie (11?...good thing she will never read this). We pretty much all grew up very close. I can't remember a single happy time from my childhood when my brother wasn't there. I remember being his biggest fan and thinking that one day I wanted to be as cool as he was. I just knew he was invincible... and then we grew up. We took very different paths in our lives. I chose to look at my life's circumstances and to learn from them and to learn what I don't want out of life. Joshua, didn't do that. He did some things that he shouldn't have and got caught up in somethings that he knew he shouldn't be, but he didn't know how to get out of those things once he really wanted to and unfortunately (but not really) wound up in jail. I want to say this made me sad, but to be honest, it was the best thing that could have happened to him at the time. Before jail, Joshua was entirely too deep into a losing battle with drugs. He didn't know how to live life without them, because drug addiction is a sickness and I believe it's a disease that will ruin anyone that it can get it's nasty little hands on. Josh was one of those people. While he was in jail my brother informed me that he had a beautiful little girl than none of us knew about for an entire YEAR after she was born. I immediately looked up her mom and when I laid my eyes on that little girl for the first time, there was no denying that child was Joshua's. She looked like him right down to that crooked little smile that he had.

  So I was an aunt now. I was also one of my brother's biggest supporters. He was locked up, because he mad awful choices, but he wasn't a had person. He would tell me how bad he felt about everything and how much he just wanted to turn his life around and he did. He got his GED while he was in jail and managed to see Bailey as much as he possibly could. He was so in love with that little girl, that I looked forward to his letters every week, just so I could hear all of the wonderful changes that he was making. For the first time in a long time, I was 100% proud of my brother. Not everyone learns a life lesson while they're incarcerated, but he did. He learned that there is more to life than drugs and the false feelings of contentment that drugs can bring. He learned that there is real love in the world. He had Bailey and he had Stacey and things were going well. . . and then his ex wife (or soon to be) overdosed and I'm not sure what changed in Josh. I don't know when his feelings for her left, but I know it was probably the second that he learned that she was the one to lock him up for motives unknown, but I think he felt personably responsible for her death in some way. Nikki was never going to change and she was never going to get clean. It wasn't what she wanted and I learned later that, he had indeed tried to get clean several times and she would push him back into using. I want to say I forgive her, because her family is hurting too, but I can't and I won't.
  Joshua was released early to be able to attend her funeral and because he had finished his time and completed his program. He was doing well. He was getting it together and as fast as all of these amazing things were happening to him, they ended. Bryce was in St. Louis when I got the most devastating phone call of my entire life. Joshua had overdosed and was dead. I will never forget just standing in my kitchen and falling to the ground, because it wasn't possible that this was happening. It wasn't possible that this had happened. He would never do this to me... he would never do this to Bailey. I was wrong, because he did. He was approached by a "friend" and this "friend" knew who Joshua used to be. The only thing I can equate a dormant lying drug addiction to would be waking a sleeping bear. If that bear is sleeping, you'd better let it sleep. Should you wake it, it's going to wake up hungry and there will be no stopping it. That's what happened. His "friend" woke the bear and it was hungry. He died in his sleep. Over the next few days I just cried. I was angry at everything and everyone. I was mad at him. I was mad at me. I was mad at anyone that was close to him, because they didn't stop it. I had to patiently wait about 3 days for Bryce to get home and then I had to leave basically the next day to go to Idaho.

  The whole thing was kind of a blur. There are very few things that stick out to me from being there. Meeting Bailey was one of them. She walked into my grandmas house with Stacey and my heart stopped. How could Joshua still be here in such a tiny beautiful little girl. Everything in me wanted to cry and hold her and not let her go. Another part of me knew how absolutely weird that would be. The other thing I will remember is constant look of hurt that stayed on my mom's face no matter how hard she tried to hide it. I will remember having to make the decision for his proceedings, because nobody could get it together. I'll remember the balloons that we sent up to him and not being able to look away from Bailey, because she was all I had left of him, but above all, I'll remember not being able to leave his viewing. While he laid on that table dressed in his best, I couldn't look away from him. That was the last time I would ever be in the same room with him. The last time I would look at his face. The last time I'd ever get to touch him. I sat in that room and I just stared at him and thought about how sorry I was, that he never got to meet my girls. I was so sorry that I never tried harder to see him. I was so mad that I had threw away all of his letter, because I thought I'd have more time. We always think we will have more time.

  Once I was home I thought things would be better, but almost 2 months later and it's still not okay. I miss him. I miss his voice. I miss him waking me up at 3 am, because he could never remember the time difference. I miss his laugh. I've never experienced death before and yet, here I am. Feeling all of these feelings at once and feeling them alone. I don't think anyone knows how to talk to me about it or if they are avoiding talking about it. The people I do want to talk to me about it, don't, because it just brings up bad feelings for them. So I still don't really know how to process it, but nobody asks me how I'm doing any more, because everyone expects me to just be okay. I think I'm okay, but some days I don't really know. 25 years of knowing a person and then you're supposed to just accept that they're not here any more, because something was bigger and stronger than their will power was. How does a person accept that? How do you just keep going on, when they don't get the chance to? I have an immense feeling of guilt that washes over me every time something big happens. I just want that to stop. I know I couldn't have prevented this from happening and I know that his suffering is over now, but I guess I'm just not accepting it yet.



  Usually I'd find a way to end this that brings closure, but I don't really know how to do that right now. So... thanks for reading? Sorry this one was so down, but before I can move onto anything else in my life, I had to get this out.

-Amanda

p.s
I didn't proof read this, sorry if it's awful.

I'd give all I have honey, if you could stay like this.

  In roughly 10 minutes the first real love of my life is going to turn 5. I'm sitting here fighting tears and just thinking to myself about how fast the past half a decade has slipped away from me. In the midst of moving from one country to the next, getting married, having another baby and starting a few new business ventures... my little Lily has turned into my BIG 5 year old kindergarten Lily. She's been anxiously, but PATIENTLY counting down the days until her big day (with the help of a chalk board countdown of course) and I'm so excited to see her come out of that room tomorrow with that precious little grin on her face, because she knows that it is THE day, it's HER day and let me tell you know, it's going to be one hell of a day too. 

  I honest to god cannot imagine where my life would have lead me had Lily not graced my uterus with her ALWAYS active presence. I remember her tiny (and not so tiny) kicks like it was yesterday. I remember when she was awake and I wanted her to sleep, I'd play her music through headphones and she'd always calm down immediately. I remember it dawning on me that her name was Lily as I finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and how I just KNEW she was a Lily. I remember the extra week and a half that she decided to stay in my belly, because lord knows that if she came out on time, that just wouldn't be her style. I remember shaking in the hospital bed and thinking, "Holy shit... am I ready for this?" and then quickly telling myself that it didn't matter any more, she was coming. I remember looking into that sweet face and just knowing that my heart could never be as full as it was the first time I saw her. I remember her first shots and how my mom had to go in with her, because I just couldn't handle it. I remember all of it and I'm not longer fighting tears, because there are so many moments I wish I could get back with her. 

  This crazy world is moving so fast and before I know it she's going to be off to college and in the blink of an eye she'll be married with babies of her own. The only thing that I can really hope for her is that when she decides to have children, they show her the meaning of life the same way she did with me. Every day I try and be a better person, but not for me. Every thing I do is for those tiny little humans that I call my daughters. I do everything in my power to make sure they know that before everything else in my life, they will ALWAYS be number 1. They make me a better person and a sobbing mess without even meaning to or knowing it. 

  Sorry this was so short, I just needed to share that Lily is growing up and I'm not handling it so well. Time to go put streamers all over her door and fill her room with balloons....

g'night, y'all!! 

-Amanda

I remember I thought you looked like an angel wrapped in pink so soft and warm.
You've had me wrapped around your finger since the day you were born.

Oh, don't you ever grow up.

Just a first day of school picture dump. 

She did amazing, she looked like a super model.

She's more perfect than words will ever let me describe.

She said THIS was her very best pose.

Monster, Monster High!

She's obviously my child

And she's over it.

No really, Mom. STAAAHHPPP

Just catching her excitement <3

Be still heart, she's going to show the world who Lily Addison is 

and that's something they're never going to forget.

Have an excellent day, y'all! 

<3,

Amanda

'Twas the night before Kindergarten

  And mommy was a hot ass mess. No, but really. If ever there were a definition of an overly emotional mother, it's me tonight. Tomorrow Lily starts her education career. This is the start of what will be the biggest chapter in Lily's life, for over a decade. I know it seems dramatic when you put it like that, but it's crazy to see your kids moving through the motions, the same way you did. Sometimes, you want those motions to slow down. Lily came to me today and said, "Mom, we need to pick something F A N C Y for school tomorrow." that hurt my wallet and warmed my heart at the same time. I know school will be nothing but a thing for Lily, she's the smartest 4 year old that I have EVER met (I know... I'm biased), but for me, it's scary. This is when you send your precious little soul out into the world and hope to god that nothing taints it too much. That her feels will be spared for the most part and that when the time comes to help somebody else out, she knows to do the same. A lot of people think that sending your kid to private school protects them from the outside world, but let's be real, kids are kids no matter what school they attend. I was often bullied in elementary school and middle school, to the extreme that, I failed 5th grade simply because facing the girls that called me names and consistently picked on me and would leave me in tears (this sometimes included teachers) just because we didn't have very much money, was more than I could bare. I would hang out in my neighborhood all day long until I saw the buses come and then I would come home and erase the school messages saying that I was absent.

I can't wait to capture this outfit with my actual camera tomorrow!

  I know Lily has a lot more as a child than I ever did and I know that no matter what, I refuse to let her fall victim to the same things I did, but her actually starting school tomorrow really puts it in perspective that I can't always protect her from the world. I think sometimes my head can't wrap itself around the fact that she's almost 5.... okay really I just refuse to accept that fact. Tomorrow, it's going to be real though. I let her help pick out the colors for our 2nd annual first day of school chalk board and she was more than thrilled. We also made a special trip to target to pick her out some really awesome clothes for school. Thankfully, we don't have to buy a single school supply! Seriously... none. By thankfully I obviously mean that I'm super bummed. I L O V E school supply shopping as much as I love football and fall. I kind of wanted to force Lisa Frank folders and pencils on her, because...Is there a school supply better than Lisa Frank!? No. That unicorn and yellow puppy take the school supply cake.  So there's that... tomorrow is the start of a new chapter for her, as sad as I am, I know she's ready.

  Aside from school starting, a whole lotta nothing has been happening. I had my highest selling Premier show on sunday and that made me feel really good and confidant in what I'm doing. I will say that I need to find a way to branch out my business. It's hard having a direct sales business when you're living in a pretty tight knit military community. There are only so many of us that can have the same kind of party, before we all know the entire routine of the show forwards, backwards and side ways. I think starting school in a career primarily dominated by women, is really going to help, but I still have two months before that happens. Patience is a virtue that I am lacking currently, but I guess i'm gonna have to work on that one.
  Alright y'all, it's time for me to head to bed and get ready to cry my eyes out tomorrow, BUT before I go, I wanted to link you fine people to my friends new blog and youtube channel. She just got it up and running and I know a lot of you are curious as to what in the hell you do with make up/hair and let me tell you, she's a guru. I do a lot of my techniques the same way she does and while I don't have time to document them, this bad ass momma does. So take the time to check her out and soak up the beauty knowledge bombs that she's gonna drop on you often. Trust me, you're not gonna be disappointed.  ALSO! I know a few of us have been discussing the differences between Ipsy and Birchbox, she does an unboxing every month, so that is going to be helpful as well for those of you without either.

This is her brand new blog!

And this is her amazeballs YouTube channel!

  Have a spectacular night, morning and day... until next time. 

<3.

Amanda

p.s.

It's never too early to get ready for fall right? Like... back to school FOR SURE means fall, so decorating is legit. 

This southern piece of perfection makes my heart happy.

Fall fall is on it's way!

  Oh hey, y'all! You're probably getting sick of my month long blogging breaks by now, for that I'd like to say, "SORRY NOT SORRY!" I've been actively trying to soak up every fun filled minute of life with my family and friends that I possibly can this summer, before things get banana sandwiches come fall. So what's the haps in Amanda land? Let me fill y'all in. Probably the biggest thing is... LILY IS STARTING KINDERGARTEN NEXT WEEK! We had her tested by the school district here and they informed us that Lily has the IQ equivalent of a 2nd grader (I acted surprised, but we all knew that already.) after she passed the academic portion of the test they had to test her in a classroom setting, where unfortunately (and by mistake I swear) they claimed Lily was "nervous" and "anxious", if you know this little diva at all, those are two words you would never use to describe her. She basically walks into a room and commands it completely, but there's not much I can do. Honestly, I had a mini break down when they told me that she couldn't start. I cried... for hours. H O U R S Y' A L L! How on earth are these people going to recommend that she goes BACK to pre k when they JUST told me last week she was beyond advanced smarts wise? yeah, no happening. Lily's been attending the local Goddard school in our area for her Pre-K education. She goes 3 times a week all day and currently we're paying $300 (I know... i roll my eyes at people throwing money into blogs too, but hold tight) To some people that seems like a lot of money, but if you break it down, it comes out to roughly $75 a week and let me assure you that was after the owner discounting us $300 already. I'll tell you the same thing I tell everyone else, there is no better place that I can justify investing money than into the future and education of my girls. ANYWAYS, I got off track, I immediately called Goddard and talked to the owner about our situation and to say that she was just as upset and confused by the backwards ass school district that we're in, is an under statement. We set up a time to meet with all three of us present and hoped for the best. To be 100% honest, both Bryce and I went into the meeting thinking that there was no way we'd ever be able to afford full day Kindergarten there, it's a rather pricey private Kindergarten, but we figured we had nothing to lose.

her first day of pre-k

  When we met with Kim, she didn't waste time explaining the program to us. It is an accredited kindergarten and it truly sounds like an AMAZING program, but we still hadn't talked price. I was flipping through the program folder she gave us and stumbled across the price and in that moment, my heart either sank or dissipated all together. To attend the private kindergarten there it costs $968 A MONTH PLUS a one time testing/supplies fee. I wanted to cry and panic all over again. I just looked up at Bryce and he looked at me and then Lily's angel of a director spoke the sweetest words I had heard in two VERY LONG days. She was going to let Lily attend their program for less than HALF of the normal cost. We're going to be paying $400 a month for her to have the best education she can possibly have AND she gets to stay with the friends that she's made over the past year of being there. It took every single ounce of energy in me to not break down in that office. The only words I could manage were thank you. Being a military family is rewarding, we're all so proud of what Bryce does every day for us and I couldn't be more thankful of our lifestyle, but financially sometimes... it's no picnic. I know it seems like I was being dramatic over something small, but there will be nothing more important to me in life, than shaping the future of Emory and Lily and making sure that they have EVERY SINGLE opportunity possible, within their grasp and that starts early now days. I needed this good to happen to me, I prayed for it. Which is a weird thing for me and the big guy pulled through. 

  So! The big girl starts school on Tuesday and our new price wont even kick in until September. The overwhelming sense of relief that I'm filling, is indescribable. Tomorrow we have Goddard's annual family jam (last years was australia and this year it's Jamaica.) and I can't wait to see what that has in store. Last year they had a wallaby, dunk tank and so much more.... I truly love this school and I'm glad we took the steps to have her in private school from the get go. Aside from Lily's school stuff our other little diva turned 2!!!! AHHHH!!!! We didn't go all out for her birthday party this year and I'm not gonna lie, I'm sad about it. If there is one thing I love more than most things in this life, it's party planning. The girls ALWAYS have spectacular birthday parties and it's something that I know I picked up from my mom. I can't remember ever being disappointed with a party that my mom threw for me. She always made a point of going above and beyond and I can honestly say that was one of my favorite things about my childhood. I try and do the same with the girls, but this year, Bryce made a valid point that made me tone it down. I was full blown party planning and asked him, "Do you think this is too much?" what does my man reply with? "Amanda, can you think back to your 2nd birthday and remember anything about it?" Touche'. We invited a few family friends and celebrate and guess what, She loved it the same as if it were the biggest party in the world. I seriously still cannot grasp that it's been two years since I've had her. It seems like just yesterday she finally made her way into this world and I fell in love with those sweet cheeks and that smile. From the get go Emory has made sure to keep us on our toes, but that's what being the youngest child is all about right? Right. She did have another cardiology appointment last week and it went about as well as it could have gone.

how bad ass is the cake Ashley handmade!?!

  When we got there she had her usual EKG (can I just say that EVERY TIME we go she is always so still and such a perfect little patient that the nurses cannot get over it?) and then her amazing cardiologist listens to her heart and does an echo. We found out once again that the hole is still there and the left side of her heart is still enlarged and working harder than it should be. As of right now we don't have to see the cardiologist again until she's 3 and if the hole is still there, we're giving it one more year before we discuss our surgery options. That's a scary thought to me, but lately, I've been thinking that I'd rather it go ahead and be repaired than to have to constantly worry about it. My mom told me the other day when I called her crying that God would never give me more than I can handle and let me tell you, his faith in me is mighty high these days. I've never been one to back down from a life challenge though, so I'm going to show life who's boss. 

  I swear I've written a novela already and I still have more to say!! My best friend from NC came to visit (2nd time this year!) and for the 4 days that she was here, I was the happiest person on the planet!! Some times it gets kind of lonely here, then my friends announce that they're once again driving 7 hours just to hang out, because they miss me and suddenly I'm so filled with love and happiness that I forget what lonely even feels like. I hope that everyone gets to experience a friendship like mine and Ashley's at least once in a life time. In the 8 years that we've been friends, we've been through so much and even though we can go months or YEARS without seeing each other, when we do, it's like it was yesterday. Now if only B. could wind up stationed in NC and we could live 2 hours away, my life would be perfect and I'd literally cry from pure happiness for days on end. She always reminds me that I'm stronger than I think I am and all while doing my make up and making me feel like a super model (Oh hey having a make up artist for a BFFLZZZZZ is kind of handy... did I mention she also does all of my website graphics as well? well she does. My best friend is better than yours.) Just being around her really makes me a better person. Beyond blessed, doesn't even cover it. Not to mention while she was here ALL THREE of my besties were under one roof.... Ohio wasn't even ready for the ninja rolling action that happened there. To make a long story short, this has been one hell of a week for me.

  Alright, y'all. I'm done here for now. Time to go call Creative Images and do some school talk and clean these carpets that my children decide to mess up on a daily basis. I hope your day is wonderful and I'll try and write again soon. 

Bye now!

-Amanda